Potter's Bulldog Blog

🐾 Bark Bark Journal — Picture Day Edition! 🐾
Date: The One With All the Treats
Location: The Fancy Fluffy Rug of Serious Business

Dear Diary,

OH. MY. BISCUITS. What a day.

Today was PICTURE DAY. You know, the one where the humans pull out the camera, the squeaky duck, the treats, the ribbons, the bowties (ugh), and expect you to sit still while they “capture your essence.” I’m not exactly sure what my “essence” is, but I’m pretty sure it smells like tennis ball slobber and peanut butter.

The morning started with a bath. No warning. No negotiation. Just splash, and suddenly I smelled like lavender and betrayal. My siblings and I all got soaked and fluffed like we were about to meet royalty. Honestly, we looked like a pack of over-caffeinated sheep.

After that, Chasity (aka The Food Lady) brushed me for what felt like seven dog years. Every time I tried to run, she whispered, “You’re gonna be a star,” like I was about to film a dog food commercial or join a boy band. I tried to chew the brush. That didn’t go over well.

Then came the outfits. Yes, outfits. Bowties, frilly collars, and one of those hats with the tiny elastic strap that digs into your chin fluff. I wore a little blue necklace that said “Pick Me!” like I was some kind of adorable politician running for Best Pup Alive. (Okay fine… I was pretty cute.)

When it was finally my turn, the photographer lady started making bizarre noises like “squeeeeeekity boop!” and “who’s a handsome boyyyy?” I didn’t know whether to bark or call for help. But then—click click click!—flash! She snapped a million pictures. I struck all my best poses: Head tilt. One ear up. Serious stare. The classic “tongue out, butt wiggle.” I even tried “play dead,” but they just thought I got sleepy.

Then came the treats. OH THE TREATS. Cheese bits, jerky nibbles, even the good crunchy ones that make your tail do a helicopter spin. 10/10. Would pose again.

Now we’re all back in the puppy pen, totally pooped and proud. The Food Lady says we looked “perfect.” She also said something about “Instagram,” whatever that is. Sounds delicious.

Anyway, I hope I get adopted by someone who appreciates my modeling portfolio. I’m basically a four-legged supermodel now. Watch out world.

Wags and wiggles,
Hendrix (aka “Blue necklace pup”)